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Posts Tagged ‘nature’

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Sky’s dark and grey, while the wind screams around the corner of the street, carrying fresh leaves and old dust. The sky looks so interesting in a mixture of heavy clouds, but somehow, the focus of action stays on the ground level.

While the rain might start any second now, the peace before the storm is long gone, maybe from the second the clouds started gathering on the sky, the second the wind started blowing… all I can certainly feel is the emptyness around, in both outside and inside my soul.

It feels so cold, so dark, so hollow, it makes me wanna scream and laugh, it makes me feel better and worse in the same time. The nature had once again come to play with my fragile person, torturing and fondling me, but I can’t ask for nothing more…

The rain may never start again from what I care… it will be fine just the way it is, in this endless prelude of fine taste.

It may never start again from what I care… it will be just perfect…

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It’s spring again. The sun shines brightly over the sky, watching, taking care of the small and insignificant creatures from down below. The warmth got everywhere and everything. There is fresh smell in the air and a new chapter is ready to be written.

The spring picture has something false in it. Maybe is just the awareness that another part of the year had passed and you still haven’t reached your goals. Is that strong change that makes you realise how evanescent you are. The nature came all alive, but in less than half a year it all be dead. You will be getting old and die just as fast and you’re not coming back. You’ll be stuck in an empty memory…

It all happens again and again, from year to year. It all seems so familiar and yet, it looks like a framing picture of the past and present. Maybe that’s how I feel about myself in the spring. Maybe I’ve been growing in the past year and everything looks different now. The spring makes me realise that time is passing…

I should be happy like the rest of my fellows and yet, I’m anxious, afraid, maybe nostalgic. I feel like a leaf, left behind by the cold winter. I remember the past times and I realise how much I have lost, how many moments, friendships and places I have missed. It makes me wanna cry, loud and clear, but I can’t. The autumn is the season of rains. Now, the sun has to shine. I have to be normal. All the people look the same to me, laughing for an unknown reason. Don’t they see? Don’t they feel? Is there something wrong with me?

I fear. I fear so much. The spring may never be more beautiful than now, but as long as I’m not in the same mood, it makes no sense. Maybe I can’t see pass my reflection. Maybe I got stuck in this ever going phenomenon of nature…I don’ know what to think. I see one thing, but I feel a totally different one. I hear a bird singing, but it seems like a scream to me. I see happy faces running around and they all look dead to me…

The spring neurosis is a natural phenomenon for humans. Only few of them feel it…

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I got down in the street today. The lights just went on…how beautiful the dusk is, probably the most beautiful time of the day. No. Not probably. For sure.

The clouds lay heavily above. I could smell the rain. I was waiting for the rain to burst out of the sky, counting the minutes, keeping in touch with all my senses. Minutes? Maybe hours have passed. Time was a just a relativity…

A waterdrop, two, three, hundreds…it all began in a flash of a second and it will all end in a moment.

The street quickly cleared out. I was alone, me and the rain. A fellow was passing now and then, rushing towards a certain point, towards his goal. What a waste of time! Why didn’t we enjow the small and segnificant moments like this beautiful rain?

Stood there…don’t know how long. I was charmed by the soft symphony of the rain. Got back at home.

Here I am now, writing a line. The rain is still falling, I am still living. For how long? Only time will tell. As long as the rain goes on, I will be here writing for you. The rain is fading away…

Here, your humble and futile fellow, ’til the next time, Sorry.

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Futility

"Futility of futilities, all is futile"

Sorry

"Live to the point of tears"